I didn't know I could do what I'm doing.
I didn't know I could actually press through this sort of pain.
I've done it before, I know I have. I just remember it being much harder the first time.
This time though, I'm stronger somehow. And I can't remember exactly where I became stronger, I just know that last year, this time, I was in the same state of pain. The difference is, That its this year, and I've lived a full year since then. I grew. I've grown.
And now I hear God egging me on saying, "Hold your head high, Beloved! You are My daughter, and I have a plan for your life. Stand by Me and learn My statutes, and I will give you the wisdom you long for. You are strong, but I am stronger. Be confident in Me no matter how things seem to be going, and I will lead you on. You are Mine. I will never hurt you or forsake you. I WILL complete the works I have begun in you until that day which no one knows the day or the hour. I love you, darling. I will show you your dream. Just follow Me."
And, I cannot resist.
I cannot help the feelings I have. I can restrain them, though I've learned.
I can hide them as well.
I don't know what I'll do.
Truth is, its my time to wait, AND keep going, strange as it may sound.
Don't get me wrong... I hurt a lot.
But I love a lot too. Thats why I must go through some of this pain.
But... Jesus did.
And He calls us to follow Him in our every day walk. This must mean that this...this thing I'm going through, is Good.
And if it is Good,
then, I think I'll be okay.