really... rather unfinished thoughts. thoughts though, nonetheless!
I'm not really sure what to say.
I was thinking earlier.
I forget how it feels to want your best friend to come with you somewhere. ANYwhere.
I'm used to being somewhere on the outskirts where I'm waiting out to see who can be trusted with the real parts of me - and you know what? I'm okay with it because I I've gotten used to feeling that way. But in the process - becoming slightly cynical of those around me.
God's heart is not that I would live like this.
God's heart is that we would find our soul's needs within HIM. But! Also, that we would, in faith, tell Him exactly what you're going to do and then with expectancy, WAIT. God's opening my eyes to this idea that asking in faith will actually get me somewhere. And I think I'm on to something! I think GOD is on to something. And I'm excited. FINALLY! A new revelation of FAITH. What is this namesake? What does this mean in my life?
It means GOD is moving me. God is moving IN me.
My heart is being stirred.
Faith provokes something of a child like innocence within us. It makes us into the heart of a child over time.
Here's the thing. We get stuck in this place where we realize what a screw up we are - and then we stay there. We feel like crap about it. But the deal is that - our sin isn't on us anymore! God knew I'd be a screw up. But there's this thing called Grace. And the amazing heart behind grace is that we'd be FREE from the sin that bound us up before.
But God revealed to me that in order to WALK in that grace, it takes FAITH. It takes faith to say to the Lord, "okay Lord, I screwed up. I'm messed up. Help me to get this thing right. I receive your grace in this area of my life."
And the Lord just keeps speaking "My grace is sufficient for you, for in all of your weaknesses, there I am strong." over my heart.
And FINALLY! I'm beginning to know it in my heart.
to KNOW it.
Praise God from whom all blessings flow.