Trust And Obey
When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.
Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies,
But His smile quickly drives it away;
Not a doubt or a fear, not a sigh or a tear,
Can abide while we trust and obey.
Not a burden we bear, not a sorrow we share,
But our toil He doth richly repay;
Not a grief or a loss, not a frown or a cross,
But is blessed if we trust and obey.
But we never can prove the delights of His love
Until all on the altar we lay;
For the favor He shows, for the joy He bestows,
Are for them who will trust and obey.
Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet.
Or we’ll walk by His side in the way.
What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;
Never fear, only trust and obey.
I happened upon this lovely old hymn in looking for lyrics to another. The title caught my attention (as it should,) and I couldn't help but explore the stanzas of the well-written truths. Here it was: the song I was REALLY looking for.
All morning long, the only phrase I kept thinking was, "open handed, open handed, open handed."
Is there not a point where we get "caught" in our lives? We get caught in good or bad actions. We get caught by people, caught in circumstances, caught in the middle, caught in between, caught off guard, caught in a lie, caught in a tangle of a mess....
And it was time for me to be caught.
Caught by the Lord.
And I was.
Sometimes when we cry, there are such things as big, fat tear drops that almost bring you instant satisfaction in a good cry. I don't know what it is. They're perfect and they roll down our cheek like a prized diamond and you KNOW it's treasured by the Lord in a bottle of your history with Him.
But then there are other times when we cry... and they're hot, painful tears that have no distinction between them. Its a steady stream that just keeps flowing in one single direction down your face, down your neck and just keeps going. You feel soaked even though you're not. Its almost like the tears are ashamed and don't want to be seen. so they flow together to hide within themselves.
But there will be no hiding the night that I got caught. Regardless of how my tears mirrored my feelings, the Lord had caught me to reveal my heart.
I was caught.
The only thing to do was to pour it all out, and just lay EVERYthing out on the table. And you know? Not a lot was said in words. I usually have something to say. But God knew better. He caught me when no words could suffice. He caught me in my deepest parts - where no mask of strength, well-spokenness, will-power, independence or self-control could protect me. He didn't catch the Sarah I portray, He caught ME. There Sarah I KNOW. The Sarah that He knows better then the Sarah I know.
The Sarah who lives within a city of walls that have been built out of pride, out of fear and out of experiences of hurt: A city of self-preservation.
And He caught me.
The first time I heard this song, it stopped me in my tracks. Its my prayer before the Lord right now AND - its real.
I have built a city here
Half with pride and half with fear
Just wanted a safer place to hide
I don't want to be safe tonight
I need you like a hurricane
Thunder crashing wind and rain
To tear my walls down
I'm only yours now
I need you like a burning flame
A wild fire untamed
To burn these walls down
I'm only yours now
I'm only yours now
I am yours and you are mine
You know far better than I
And if destruction's what I need
Then I'll receive it lord from thee
Yes I'll receive it lord from thee
Caught. There I was with no more excuses, no more justifications or rain checks.
That's what happened. I needed to be caught. I WANTED to be caught. I didn't know how to be caught when I had built so many obstacles.
But Jesus is the One.
He gets past all my walls, all my smoke screens and all my masks.
He sees me.
He sees through my skin.
He knows my frame.
He knows me.
I was caught and it felt so good to finally stop hiding.
I held out my hands in surrender. Open hands.
You know how you believe truths in your head but then you believe them in your heart when you actually have to practice them?
"Open hands, God. Open to receive a gift, and open to offer back what is not mine to keep."
An offering unto the Lord.
A laying down? Maybe. I think we're even called to such a thing as being caught in waiting. Will I close my hands and snatch something for myself out of impatience? Will I throw it back out of fear before I know if it is mine?
Or will I wait, with open hands?
What a sweet discipline.
Now Lord, help me to receive it wholly.
"Not a mite will I withhold."